I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize