So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
