dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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