Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I supernannyed him into submission
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