your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize