He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
