I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
