The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
