My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
