he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
