I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
