Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't deserve a penis
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize