Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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