I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
