Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
