It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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