Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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