she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think your dad took our porno
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
