I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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