Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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