Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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