Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
