the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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