yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
