....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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