okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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