You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
BRING THE BAGELS
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
