i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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