Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
