i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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