so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
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