My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize