Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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