I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
