is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
