Buhtt sex?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
