It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
