She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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