Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
