wanna go halves on a baby?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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