I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
