Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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