so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
