And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
