my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
my liver is dry heaving
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
