I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
