Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
