I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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