i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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