After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
