Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
