he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
