i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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