Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
