don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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