Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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