Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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