Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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