you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
