I wanna passion pit in your ass
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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