my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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