so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
