didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
